Wondering....

It's a half-awake, half-asleep kind of feeling. It starts in the pit of my stomach and works its way down to my toes. It leaves my brain churning and confused. I argue with myself, consider every angle, review each detail, until I've exhausted the subject. And then I review it all again in reverse. From one side it looks one way, and from another angle it looks completely different. It all depends on the opening premise for my current viewpoint.

One half of me is hopeful, effervescent, invincible, glass-half-full. The other half argues for 'reason', for logic, for a lack of probability and the glass is half empty.

I view it from amazement and feel blessed. I view it with a cynical gaze and feel hopelessly discouraged. At some point it finally occurs to me that I'm trying to figure out an answer to a question without enough information to arrive at a conclusion. If I were 7 years old again, I could solve it all by simply pulling the petals off of a daisy, one at a time. But I'm 27 now, and I'm stuck with.... wondering.