Vows

Last Friday night, I went to a vespers concert with my brothers and some friends at Southern. The artist was Andrew Peterson, and it was really nice to just sit and listen to him sing and play and share things he's learned from life.

Out of everything he said though, one thing stands out to me the most. He was telling the story of a couple who opted out of the traditional wedding vows that most couples say, and at their wedding they simply looked each other in the eyes and promised, "I will never divorce you." That story has haunted me since then. Because it's really such a simple phrase, and yet how many people today would have the nerve to get married and say those exact vows?

When I was a little girl, I used to dream of the day I would get married to my "perfect" man. I dreamed about the dress and the flowers, the kiss and the thrown bouquet. But those dreams are such a minute part of what a wedding really means. I've seen so many marriages around me where the people seemed trapped. I've honestly not had many good examples to look up to - and no offense intended to anyone reading this who might be married, but you guys don't always make the best of it. I've had harsh things to say about people that really didn't belong together. Unhappiness can be like a cancer, spreading to those around you, if you let it. But I've also seen marriages where both people truly put the other one first, and even though they hit rough patches and didn't always agree, they made it work because they had invested 100% of themselves into making it work.

Truthfully, I think sometimes people overthink these things. Yes, compatibility matters. Yes, being with the right person matters. But at the end of the day, no matter who you are with, I promise you that they'll be imperfect. I promise you that on occasion, they will drive you nuts. I guarantee you that there will be hours, days, maybe even weeks or months when you don't "feel" much love for them. But love isn't about feelings entirely. It's about making a decision to love someone in action and word regardless of how you 'feel' at a given moment. And I also guarantee that they will still be worth your time, your love, and your commitment if you follow the plan God has for you.

I've been burned... I know what it feels like to be committed to someone who isn't committed to you. Not in the context of marriage, but a serious relationship. I'm not afraid that I can't commit to someone - I'm afraid that I will and find myself alone again. But I also believe that God has a plan for my life, and it's not to harm me, but to give me hope and a future. And if that day comes when I find myself pledging the rest of my life to the man of my reality (because dreams are just that - dreams), I hope that I will have the courage to look him in the eyes and promise, "I will love you for the rest of my life. And I will never divorce you."

There is beauty in simplicity.